world's jokes
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.