world's jokes
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.