Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it
Why was the giraffe 🦒 late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride she says BOO! What kind of sick fuck does that?
My family is lucky I was born so smart, every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
Women be like equal rights equal pay, then decide that they don't want to do labour intensive jokes.
I rang my boss and said I’m really sick I won’t be coming into work, my boss said Davo your sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now? I replied well I’m in bed with my sister!
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest it’s got its ups and downs
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while bieng at work was and i replied " being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers"
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
Why cheetah don’t say goodbye because they are not going to work
Why did the Nurse bring a read pen to work? To draw Blood Why did the M&M go to school? to be a smartie. Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? to be in highschool.
went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
I have a ton of work to do... A skeleTON
Boy:*Scares girl* Girl:GOSH YOU SCARED ME, JESUS Jesus:*Arrives out of nowhere and said wut is it hooman I got work to do* Girl:What work? Jesus:Coming out of nowhere when people say "jesus"
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Q: What do you call a skeleton that go's to school but doesn't do any work A:lazy bones
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
