Work Jokes

John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming

Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ̈Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! ̈ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ̈Yes sir! ̈ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ̈Forks and knives, forks and knives! ̈ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ̈Goody-goody gumdrops! ̈ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You ́re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

What is a pedophiles favorite job?

The mall santa.

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, 'I can't breathe, I can't breathe !'

I just told him straight: 'Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.'

Robin: "The car's not working." Batman: "Did you check the battery?" Robin: "What's a tery?"

Why do Midgets work at Tesco because every little helps

why can't emos work at a restaurant. Because they cut to much

There was a little kid crying in the park today, i askd him where his parents were. Now i realize, man i love my job

I’ll make a joke about homeless people but they just don’t work

I work in a garage and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said,"why wont my car go straight

Hey reaper!!! Where are you going?? "I finished my job" What about me?-

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle? Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger"

I work as an IT technician. The other day I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying “do you consent to cookies.” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means so that’s why he called me