Work Jokes

Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?

A: Because they're retired!

Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.

Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?

Because it was on strike.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"

The image shows a white dog sitting in a pothole filled with water. There is text overlaying the image that says, "Americans will measure with anything but the metric system." A news banner at the bottom says, "Doggy-sized pothole patched on North Side."

I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!

Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.

Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.

Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen: Good night!

Prince: Why?

Gwen: Because...now good night!

Prince: We can work some things out?

Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!

To be continued

Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.

Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"

Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.

PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.

So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."

I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

Why was the giraffe late to work?

Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.

This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Helen Keller.

Helen Keller who?

(Don't say anything).

Helen Keller who?

...you will get a laugh...ty.

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!