Woman jokes
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
What is a woman?
A walking vagina who nags.
What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.
Jugs!
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
What do you call a missing Indian woman?
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Yo momma so fake, even Barbie got jealous of her!
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.