Woman

Woman jokes

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Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?

Because women don't have rights.

Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"

Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?

Because they don’t deserve rights!

A woman goes to buy a parrot.

There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.

She asks why the last one is so cheap.

The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."

The lady buys it anyway.

When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"

When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"

When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"

Sy’kyira (😌): I can’t wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy’kyira (😅): SAME!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?

Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.

Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.

5 minutes later

Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?

Teacher, the one sucking it?

Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.

A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.

The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!

What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?