Woman jokes
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
What's the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football.
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀