Woman jokes
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.