Why jokes
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Why did the emo cross the road?
To not get to the other side.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
Gwen, why are you so nice?
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"
So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."
The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."