This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who's there? not sally ~ what first went through sally's head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said “did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied “do you mean Nein millimeter?”
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."
To all you who can't understand using jokes as coping mechanism... you know what i will ask of you:)
--> I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
--> I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
--> and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
-->and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded, what is the first thing you do? Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
what do you call a autistic kid who just saw transformers, autistimus prime
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking. But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
