When jokes
What did Henry VIII say when he was asked to review Six the Musical?
"It was okay, but I really think they could have cut a few parts."
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?
He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.
Joe Mama's so fat, when she goes in the elevator, she has to go down.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.