When jokes
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
When Drake was making the song "Back to Back," he was referring to your hairline.
When you fail art school.
I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.