When jokes

What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?

A ring-a-ding-a-ding.

When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?

Touch base.

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?

Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.

Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.

I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).

What do feminists do when they fail at something?

Blame men for sexism and misogyny.

When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.

When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

Yo Mama is so dumb, she works best when she is unemployed.

When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.

The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.

Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"

What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?

"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"

What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?

Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.

What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?

You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.

When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?

What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?

Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?

What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?

"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"

R.I.P. Floyd.