When jokes

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?

Boston cream pie.

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

Why was the orphan so famous?

Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.

When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

When orphans go to school, they can’t get parent pickup.

Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!