When jokes
What did President Ford say when he met Betty?
"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."
When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
Memes
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.