When jokes
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
Aiden and Gwen! Are Aiden and Gwen dating? 'Cause if they are, then oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Kenya says: Yes, they are deep in love!
Tenya says: Yeah, but I think he would be good with Hoochie girl 101!
Gwen says: Guys stop! You really think that!
Tenya and Kenya say: Yes!
Kariah says: No! I belong with him. He is MINEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Mariah says: Girl, you need to grow up!
Tenya says: Yeah! When are you guys getting married?
Lariah says: YEAH!!!!!!
Iariah says: Yeah!!!!!!!
Gwen says: Next Sunday!
All girls say: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next Sunday, they got married! YAYAYAYYAYAYAY!
Mariah says: Congrats!
Kenya says: Yeah!
Kariah says: Hi Aiden, super cute tux!
Lariah says: Wooohoooo!
Iariah says: Yeah! U won it!
Tenya: This is you guys' time to shine!!!!!!!!
And they lived happily ever after...in hell! The end!