When jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!

When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.

Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?

Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

What happens when a frog parks illegally?

He gets toad.

"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"

What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?

The 102nd.

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

But when?

What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?

"Who's the special today?"

He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.

What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

When we talk of our X, some people talk of their XXX. 🤣

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?