When jokes

What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?

"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"

What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?

"Bale me out!"

Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

When do eggs hatch?

At the CRACK of dawn!

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.

Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?

Hospital or Currys PC World?

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

Knock knock!!

Who's there??

Dishwasher!!

Dishwasher who??

Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam.

When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."

What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?

Christmas!

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?

What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?

I yam.

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?

🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"

His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."

Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."