When jokes

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:

God: No, I don’t want to.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

What do asses and secrets have in common?

Both are better when not leaked!

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?

"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

For when it started RAINING RHYMES.

What did the rapper say when their computer crashed?

"Looks like I just dropped a HARD DRIVE!"

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.