When jokes

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.

What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!

How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.

What did the bull say when he went to college?

Bison!

What do pedophiles do when they wake up?

Turn on the child safety lock on the car.

What time is it when it gets dark out?

Bed time.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"

What is the difference between onions and babies?

I cry when I cut onions.

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.