When jokes

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!

What do Indians call their father when they are born?

Data.

What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?

"Boo-hoo!"

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.

Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.

My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.

My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."