When jokes
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"