When jokes
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"
He didn't realize what was about to happen.
"That's what she said!"
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.