When jokes
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?
"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?
"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!