When jokes

What do spiders and Black people have in common?

When they’re black, they kill you.

My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?

Because they want to feel wanted.

What's the opposite of an exorcism?

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?

Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.

What did the math acorn say when it grew up?

"Gee-I'm-a-tree."

What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?

I have to Pikashoe.

What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.