When jokes
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
The pose I pulled when my mom caught me doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
When do you go to the store?
UVUALA!!!!!
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
When does a pentagon only have 4 sides?
When a plane hits it.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."