When jokes

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?

Because they want to feel wanted.

I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.

What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?

I have to Pikashoe.

What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.