When jokes

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

When is a door not a door?

When it’s ajar!

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.

What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?

Strong to the finish.

What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.

Yo momma so fat, when she farted the Big Bang occurred.

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

Joe mama so fat, when she did the IShowSpeed dance, she fell five floors down.

Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]

Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.

My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”

Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”