When jokes
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.
Why tie when you can knot?