When jokes
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.
I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time… and walk past.
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
When the Mexican wanted to go shopping,
he went to Ja-mall.