When jokes

When I walk to school, I fart.

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.

I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?

When someone calls you gay, say:

"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?

Bubble 07.

When you look in the mirror, the mirror cracks.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.

You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent!

When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.

Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?

Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?