When jokes

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke!

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?

Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?

"It's dye-ing."

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?

Hot Wheels...

What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?

Orphan: "My Parents."

When I walk to school, I fart.

It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"