When jokes
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Memes
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.
Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
Pokemon Jokes!
What do you do when your Loudred evolves?
Buy more earplugs!
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?