When jokes
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
are you serious right neow
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?
The tree leaves him hanging :)
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.