When jokes
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
When is a priest's best compromise?
A failed Baptism.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
Truly are
You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That’s a huge sack of balls."
He didn’t realize what was about to happen.
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the baseball tournament, she knocked everyone out of the park.
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."