When jokes

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

What does a plug do when he's horny?

He jacks off!

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?

Panera Red.

What did the frog do when his car broke down?

It was toad.

What does a disabled disco play?

"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

When you're sad, hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.

I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...

What do you call a turkey when it is scared?

A chicken.

What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.

Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"

What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!

What happened when the man died? Yes.

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.