When jokes

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.

Me: Hi Jacob!

Jacob: Hi.

Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!

Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH

When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."

What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"

When you're born on 4/20/69...

Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.

What’s it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

What did they call Hitler when he swam?

Adolfin.

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.

Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.

Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.

Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?

A: Stop littering!