When jokes
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!