When jokes
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.
Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣