When jokes

The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.

When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.

What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

Why did the orphan join the baseball team?

Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.

Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talked about on this website?

Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

What do old people have when they are sick.

A going away party.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

What do you say when a person trips?

You say, "Why you trippin'?"

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.