When jokes

Indian

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

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    • Orphan

    Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

    Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

    Yo mamma

    Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

    Mama

    Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."

    Memes

    When memes

    Shooting Range

    I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

    Orphanage

    We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.

    Hair Style

    My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"

    Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?

    Baker

    What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?

    Ooh, snickerdoodles!

    Cock

    I've been told I've got a perfect cock.

    She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.

    Indian

    There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"

    The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."

    The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”

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    • Bathroom

    One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.

    The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

    Brother

    I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

    When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

    I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

    I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

    (just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

    (He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

    (MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

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    • Mama

    Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.