When jokes
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
Who needs April Fool's when your life is a joke?
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.