When jokes
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
I started crying when Dad started cutting onions.
Onions was a good dog.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman? Frostbite!
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."