When jokes
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Yo mama so hairy, you got carpet burn when you were born.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!