Whats jokes
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What was the winning play at the leper football game? A hand off up the middle.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Walking.
What do the N and F in "orphan" stand for?
"No family."
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
Michael J. Fox came up to me the other day and introduced himself to me. He said, "Hey, what’s shaking?"
I said, "You."
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.