Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Whats Jokes
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.
Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)
What is depressed and gay? Me.
What is the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?
A killstreak.
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
What actor do orphans hate?
Dom Terreto (family).
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
What do you call a two-legged cow? Lean beef.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
