Whats jokes
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
Memes
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.