What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
Whats Jokes
I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.
And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
What did I do with the internet?
What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster.
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What type of phones do orphans have?
IPhone XR—it has no home button.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What happened when the man died? Yes.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
