What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
Whats Jokes
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
