Whats jokes
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
What's 1 + 1?
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.