Whats jokes
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!