Whats jokes
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy find his mum.
"What's she like?" he asked the boy.
"BIG COCKS AND VODKA!" said the boy.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.