Whats jokes
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
What runs but never stops?
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!