Whats jokes
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What runs but never stops?