Whats jokes
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?
On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.