Whats jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European.

When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."

What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?

A fat nun.

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS Arrrrr.

What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.

What's red and blue and runs up your leg?

A homesick miscarriage.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.

What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

What do chairs spend on the most?

Chair-ity.

If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?

A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

A "glad-he-ate-her".

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

What do you call a cow with no toes?

Lac-toes intolerant.