Whats jokes

What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.

I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."

what was sally's role in a football game?

the football ;-;

What do chairs spend on the most?

Chair-ity.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.

If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

A "glad-he-ate-her".

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

What do you call a cow with no toes?

Lac-toes intolerant.

What do squirrels and men have in common?

They always want a nut.

What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?

A cold shoulder.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody nose.

What’s Kobe Bryant’s favorite rapper? NLE Choppa.

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.

What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"