Whats jokes
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
Memes
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.