Whats jokes
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
Memes
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."