Whats jokes
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...