What's happening

What's happening jokes

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Baby

  • My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

    What happened?

    Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

    Tree

  • What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?

    The tree leaves him hanging :)

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    Chicken

  • What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

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    Kid

  • A kid had school today.

    He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

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    Pineapple

  • Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

    The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.

    The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"

    The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

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    Snail

  • A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.

    When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

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  • Priest

  • Man: I must confess, Father.

    Priest: What are you here to confess?

    Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

    Priest: And what happened to your son?

    Man: He said a man raped him.

    Priest: When and where did this happen?

    Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

    Priest: ...By whom?

    Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

    Priest: ...Shit

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