What's happening jokes
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
What happens if a redneck is bisexual? Do they go for their brother or sister?
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
A man decides one day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet or paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud.
"Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot," says the bird.
"Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!"
"I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird.
"Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs."
"Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers."
"Wow, you really understand everything I say, don't you?"
"Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport, and philosophy, and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you."
The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I cannot afford that."
"Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you."
The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What!?" says the man.
"Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth."
"And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?"
"Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere."
"My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?"
"Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down."
"And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams.
"No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick..."
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.