Weather jokes
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.