Weather Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

a cow was walking down the road and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky so it said "that is an a-moo-zing cloud'

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

In case of ILL RHYMES

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

What is at the end of a rainbow

The w

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

For when it started RAINING RHYMES

How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?

Look for the one with the ICE-COLD RHYMES

How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?

With some HOT TRACKS

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

Wow that is so sunny

When the school shooter finds you under the table;

Wonderful weather we're having!

My friend had no school because of heavy snow.

Guess you could say it was a snow school day!

What are the four seasons?

Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.

Cesar: What was that good salad called? Servant: Ceaser, Cesar. Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like? Servant: Hail, Cesar Cesar: yes I know Hail Cesar but I need to know what the weathers like! Servant: Well its hail, Cesar. Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

For when he made it RAIN in the club

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy. They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

Yo momma so stupid...weather man says it chilli outside....instead of a jacket..She gets a bowl and spoon!!!

What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the world trade center? Partly Cloudy with scattered passengers!

How’d the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds. One of the kids says something. Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty? The other kid says something else. Yes. It sounds cool. After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over. But I think it's missing something though. The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking. Oh, I know what it is! After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack. The first kid speaks. Icy what you did there. The other kid replies. Good thing I didn't slip up there. The first kid replies. Well, that's snow problem. The other kid then uttered this: These puns would make the most frigid individual crack-up. The first kid then says: I know, right? They then begin a snowball fight. The other kid then says: Only the men have snowballs!