Weather jokes
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school? He mist.
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny weather, a pleasant place to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures, and do you think they have them?
"No, there are no ghosts or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know, right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on Instagram, Facebook, and the worst jokes on the site.
Gina Claw Scare loved fire, which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time!
They buried her on a lawn in the forest that caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know, right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming, and then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
I love autumn!