Weather jokes
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
Why is the sun mad at the clouds?
The clouds keep throwing shade.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls.
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.