Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
I hate wearing a mask in public.
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Yo mum is so fat when she weared yellow the kids thought they missed the bus
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
