Wear jokes

What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toed.

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

Why don’t midgets wear tampons?

Because they’ll trip over the string.

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?

Michelin.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?

Swimming trunks.

There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.

Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.

After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.

Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?

Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.

My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!

What kind of mask are you wearing?

An Elon Musk!

Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”

Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”

What kind of jeans do you wear to church?

Holy jeans!

What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.

If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.

Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?

Because they’ll get chapped lips.