Wear jokes
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!