Wear

Wear Jokes

Hoe

Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses

Priest

Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"

The priest says, "Because I'm a father."

Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."

The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."

Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."

Kilt

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.

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  • Comeback

    There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"

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  • High-five

    People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

    School

    She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

    Lip

    Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

    So you can read her lips.

    COVID-19

    Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

    You may be entitled to condensation.

    Sun

    You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!

    People

    People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

    Road

    Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

    So no one would know what side he was on.

    Period

    Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

    She started her period.

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  • Squirrel

    One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."