Weapon jokes
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.